


Jaundice

by The_fangirl_264



Category: Cobra Kai (Web Series)
Genre: Angst, Between Seasons 2 & 3, Introspection, Minor season 3 spoilers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-11
Updated: 2021-01-11
Packaged: 2021-03-14 23:47:36
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,399
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28679139
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/The_fangirl_264/pseuds/The_fangirl_264
Summary: He looked down at Diaz’s lifeless body again. If he was dead that made Robby a murderer. This realization almost knocked him off his feet. He had once thought himself better than the Cobra Kai students. Mr. Larusso taught them to defend themselves and others. No mercy was the creed of Cobra Kai, not Miyagi-do.orRobby's thoughts after the fight at the school and as he builds up the courage to visit his rival.(Written a few months ago, but I never got around to finishing it up. Now that the third season is out, it gave me a few more ideas.)
Comments: 2
Kudos: 11





	Jaundice

**Author's Note:**

> Jaundice- "bitterness, resentment, or envy."  
> (definition taken from Google and Oxford Languages) 
> 
> Also, I obviously don't own these characters or Cobra Kai

Adrenaline pumped through Robby’s veins. His face was shoved into the floor by his rival, Diaz. He gritted his teeth partially in pain, but mostly in fury as the other boy held his arm back and had a hand pressed between his shoulder blades. He couldn’t move from his spot on the ground. It felt like an eternity on those dirty tiles; Robby assumed his enemy was taking his time, enjoying the feeling of power. What other explanation was there for the stillness above him? Diaz was a Cobra Kai student, after all. He was arrogant and played dirty just like all the other Cobras. 

“I’m sorry.” 

These words took Robby by surprise. Sorry? Sorry for what exactly? Sorry for purposefully targeting the injury he sustained to his shoulder during the tournament? Sorry for taking advantage of Sam while she was drunk at Moon’s party? Or was he sorry for stealing his dad away from him? The dad who was never there for him but for some reason loved Diaz as if he were his own. Why was it that Diaz got to have everything Robby wanted? When would it ever be enough?

With a scream of rage, he shoved himself off the ground and swung his elbow back to connect with Diaz’s head. Robby spun around and brought his foot down on the back of his enemy’s knee, causing him to stumble. Wasting no time, Robby shot his right leg out to land a kick to the other boy’s midsection. However, the force of it caused Diaz to tip backwards over the railing. 

The onlookers gasped in horror; Robby’s eyes widened, a feeling of cold shock crashed over his body in waves, suffocating him. He rushed to the railing to peer over, the bone-shattering crash playing on repeat in his mind. His rival lay motionless on the tiled stairs below. Suddenly, it felt as though all eyes were on Robby. What had he done? Diaz could be dead, and Robby was the one who pushed him.

“Robby, what did you do?” He met his girlfriend’s eyes. Though, he supposed she probably wasn’t really his girlfriend anymore, was she? 

All he could do was look at her; he was at a loss for words. What was there to say? What was done was done. He looked down at Diaz’s lifeless body again. If he was dead that made Robby a _murderer_. This realization almost knocked him off his feet. He had once thought himself better than the Cobra Kai students. Mr. Larusso taught them to defend themselves and others. No mercy was the creed of Cobra Kai, not Miyagi-do. How had he allowed himself to be blinded by his anger? It all became clear now, Diaz was working up the strength to let Robby go; he wasn’t enjoying the moment of power over him. He’d taken that time to work up the strength to apologize. 

With this additional realization, Robby turned tail and ran. What else could he do? There was no way anyone would let him near Diaz. And who knew how long until more security came. It wouldn’t be long until someone came after Robby, either in fury or to apprehend him for the fight’s outcome. 

* * *

Robby perched on the gum-coated curb of an old, rundown gas station and popped his Coca Cola open. He sipped at the carmel colored liquid as he stared absently at the rusting gas pumps. He wished he didn’t have a million thoughts swirling around in his head. He’d tried to buy beer for this reason, but the cashier saw right through his lies. 

He leaned back and sighed. He had no idea where to go from here. He’d burned all of his bridges at this point; not even his old friends would take him back. Mr. Larusso felt betrayed by Robby’s choice to go to Johnny instead. Maybe Robby could go back to his dad, but after what happened to Diaz, there was no telling how the man would react. 

Robby wished he could see Sam. She always knew how to make him feel better. She’d probably come up with some silly little joke for him to laugh at. Then she would slip her fingers between his and listen carefully and speak comfortingly. And once he was calmer, the two of them would come up with a solution together. 

Things were going so incredibly well between Sam and Robby, but Diaz had to go and ruin things--again. Robby crushed the half empty red can with a growl, but his hand slipped. His scowl turned into a grimace as the fizzy liquid mingled with blood. He cursed loudly as he shot to his feet and gingerly pressed his other hand to the cut. 

As much as Robby hated Diaz, he didn’t think the guy deserved to lose his life. Robby especially didn’t want to be the one to have taken it. He wondered how long he would spend behind bars. His future would be wrecked--not that he had much going for him anyways. 

With that lovely thought, Robby let himself into the slimy, revolting gas station bathroom. Everything in the small room looked as though it had once been a shiny white, but now things sported impressive shades of brown, yellow, and green. 

As the teen rinsed his hand under the faucet, he studied himself in the clouded mirror. He really hoped nobody wondered why he had so many cuts and bruises; he didn’t think he had enough will power or mental capabilities to explain away any suspicion. 

He felt as though all of his insecurities and fears were plainly visible; anyone who looked close enough would be able to see. Robby hated the person he’d become. He was a hodgepodge of his father’s aggression and insecurities and his mother’s unhealthy tendencies. These weren’t new feelings, but now he felt like the updated version. Now, Larusso’s teachings about mercy and defense only had been thrown into the mix. Robby didn’t even feel like himself anymore--not that he’d ever felt completely _right_. 

* * *

Robby knew it was only a matter of time before he was found and punished for his actions, but he would at least try to make it as long as he could on his own. He’d borrowed the cashier’s scissors and given himself a new haircut. When he handed them back, he was rewarded with a suspicious look but then a shrug of apathy as if the guy couldn’t be bothered to look up from the magazine he was reading for longer than a few seconds. 

After that, Robby spent the next hour or so wandering down the side of the road trying to figure out his best course of action. However, every few feet, he was taunted by the image of his rival’s body laying twisted on the unforgiving school staircase. Robby knew there was no way he was going to make it much longer without knowing if he’d killed someone. 

With a heavy sigh, he stuck his thumb out, hoping to catch a ride. Out of all of the bridges he’d burned in the past few days, he knew which one had meant the most to him. 

* * *

“You sure you’ll be okay?” 

Robby ran a hand through his newly cut hair, missing the length. He nodded at the elderly woman in the front seat who’d offered him a ride. “Yeah. Thanks again.” He gave her a small smile as he slipped out of her small, rusty car. 

As the car drove away, Robby turned to look at the house on the far end of the street. Encino. He didn’t belong here. 

He trudged down the street, dragging his feet. He meant to take the time walking there to contemplate what he would say, but his mind was mostly a whirlwind of fears and accusations. 

When he reached the big, fancy house that he’d come to think of as a safe place, a refuge, all he felt was dread. He wasn’t sure when things changed, but at some point during the past few months, Robby had started equating this house and the Miyagi dojo with _home_. None of the typical warm feelings arose as he studied the house now. 

Robby was startled out of his thoughts by the sound of a car traveling down the street. He ducked behind some of the shrubs near the front door when he caught sight of the car. The familiar yellow stirred up pleasant memories of the wind whipping through his hair, listening to Sam and Mr. Larusso bicker over which station they should listen to as the bright sun warmed their skin. 

He mentally kicked himself for his inopportune timing, but stayed where he was. He told himself that it was because he was afraid of bringing unwanted attention to himself, but he knew that wasn’t true. He craned his neck, hoping to get a glimpse. He felt a small smile reach his lips when he saw wavy brown hair. But the warmth wasn’t long lived when he heard what Sam was saying into her phone. 

“I don’t know, Aisha. They wouldn’t let me in to see him.” 

Car doors slammed shut and footsteps got closer as Mr. Larusso approached the front door to let his family inside. Robby ducked down farther, praying he wouldn’t be seen. If Mr. Larusso saw Robby, there was no way he wouldn’t unleash a barrage of accusations and make Robby feel even worse. The teen knew he would break down and never be okay if that were to happen. Mr. Larusso had felt like such a father to Robby over the past few months. However, it was quite easy to make the man feel betrayed, so Robby sometimes felt like he was walking on eggshells. Both Larusso and Johnny were so wrapped up in past quarrels that they couldn’t even consider the possibility of seeing eye to eye. 

He felt like such a stalker. If a person had to hide in the bushes to avoid being seen near someone’s house, then maybe that was a pretty good indication that they shouldn’t be there in the first place. This was a terrible idea. This might’ve been an even worse idea than bringing Sam to Johnny’s place after she got incredibly drunk. 

As the door creaked open, Robby prepared himself to bolt. He would wait until he was sure everyone was inside the house first. He peeked through the leaves to confirm he was alone, but he spotted Sam seated on the front step, phone still pressed to her cheek. She sniffled loudly as she cradled her right arm closer to her body. 

“I feel like this is my fault.” 

Robby felt a pang of guilt at that statement. His previous courage had abandoned him long ago. The moment he saw that car and Mr. Larusso, Robby knew there was no way he’d be able to look Sam in the eye. He wanted to give her a hug so bad, but he knew that such a gesture would be unwanted from him after the events of the day. _Day._ Robby almost swore audibly at that. 

“I just wish they’d let me in to see Miguel. Why do hospitals have such stupid rules?” 

Robby stiffened. Diaz was okay? Well, not _okay,_ obviously. But _alive_. Robby felt a sob arising, but he held his breath. 

“Sam, come on in,” Mrs. Larusso called, peeking outside. “We’re gonna order pizza.” 

The teen girl nodded, said goodbye to Aisha, and joined her mother inside the house. Robby stayed hidden, the relief at not being a murderer was overwhelming.

After sitting there for what felt like an hour, but was most likely five minutes, Robby arose and stiffly stretched his legs. He knew his next two destinations. 

* * *

Robby gripped the steering wheel of the ugly old van he’d stolen from Larusso Auto. He was parked in the lot of the nearest hospital to the school, hoping this was the correct hospital. With the condition Diaz had been in, this would have to be the place, right? 

With a deep breath, Robby forced himself to get out of the car and approach the entrance. He’d already spent time in a shrub hiding from Sam and her family like a coward; he wasn’t going to hide this time. 

“I’m here to see Miguel Diaz,” he told the woman at the front desk. 

“Relation?” she asked. 

Robby kicked himself. Of course he wouldn’t be allowed to see Diaz. Sam herself had even said she hadn’t been allowed to see him. And he didn’t think he’d be able to tell a believable lie either. 

“I’m sorry for wasting your time,” he muttered. 

She gave him a look of pity as he turned away from the desk. No. He couldn’t leave now. Even though he’d heard Sam say Diaz was alive, Robby needed to see for himself. Not that he didn’t believe her, but he had to put some of his guilt and fears to rest. So, he waited at the vending machine until the woman bent down to grab something below her desk. The teen scanned the room to make sure no doctors would spot him as he slipped past the doors to the ICU. 

Robby made his way through the pristine hospital hallways, scanning rooms and peeking in windows. When he found the room, he paused outside the closed door. Seeing his rival on a hospital bed overwhelmed Robby with emotion. He couldn’t bring himself to go in but he wasn’t going to let himself leave just yet. The teen leaned back against the wall and allowed himself to stiffly slip down to the floor. The only noise in the eerily silent hospital was a quiet steady beeping coming from inside Diaz’s room that confirmed that Robby wasn’t a murderer. 

Robby wasn’t sure how long he sat there. People would occasionally shuffle past; some gave him pitying looks, but most simply ignored him. 

He should just leave. Why did he think that this was a good idea? Better yet, why did he _actually_ come? Would Diaz even care that his rival came to visit him? Would he even want him here? 

No. No, he was going to do this. It was his fault Diaz was here; Robby at least owed him this much. Having reached this decision, the teen unceremoniously pushed himself up off the floor before he could talk himself out of it. Eyeing the door like it would come to life and attack him, he precariously twisted the handle and nudged the door open with his toe. 

As Robby peeked inside, he immediately froze. He wanted to look away so badly, but he wouldn’t let himself. He didn’t _deserve_ to look away. He forced himself to approach the clean, white bed. While studying the other teen, Robby was struck by how… _human_ he looked. His adversary lay unresponsive due to injuries inflicted by Robby. No. This wasn’t some adversary or villain. This was a boy with ambitions and feelings, friends and family.

Seeing Diaz--No-- _Miguel_ here, with no competition and no drama, forced Robby to confront the boy that he had not otherwise thought much of. Now, Robby couldn’t just pretend Miguel was some evil cheater who did what he could to get ahead and to make Robby’s life a nightmare. It was a shame that their goals had to be so similar; maybe the two of them would’ve been friends. The two teens often got in each other’s way while both trying to succeed at the same things. It was so much easier for Robby to blame Miguel for his problems when he didn’t have to think much of the other boy. 

He felt tears well up in his eyes. He wanted to say something to the other boy, but no amount of I’m sorries would change this. Even if Miguel wasn’t awake, at least Robby got a chance to see him and confirm that he had in fact survived. Suddenly, he felt like a coward. Here he was staring at an unconscious person, who, in his deep slumber, probably had no idea anyone was even here, and Robby still couldn’t even say anything. However, what would he even say? _Sorry I kicked you off of a balcony and now you’re seriously injured. Get well soon._

Robby wiped his nose with the back of his hand and willed his tears to dissipate. They didn’t. He felt like a detestable mixture of overwhelming emotions and bodily fluids. Why did he continue to allow his feelings of resentment and jaundice to fester inside him like an infected flesh wound? Maybe he could’ve helped find a way to prevent all of this or at least some of it. Though, with how things occurred, maybe some sort of explosion was inevitable. 

Suddenly, the door handle rattled, startling Robby out of his thoughts. He whipped around wildly. Behind him stood Hawk; his fiery red hair in disarray and his eyes swollen. He must have snuck in as well. The other boy stood in the doorway staring at the Miyagi-do student for a good five seconds before it registered. Hawk furiously scrubbed his eyes with the back of his hand as if being caught showing emotions would undermine his tough, manly reputation. 

“What’re you doing here?” He demanded, his voice crackling with emotion. 

Robby couldn’t bring himself to respond. That was a question he’d been asking himself this whole time. What purpose did coming here serve? 

“What? You didn’t do enough damage already? Had to come back to finish the job?” The other boy stalked forward with his bloodshot eyes narrowed, certainly living up to his nickname. “You don’t deserve to be here.” 

Robby felt his heartbeat quicken at the reminder that he could’ve killed Miguel. “I just- I-”

“Get. Out.” With his fists tightly clenched, Hawk slowly circled Robby to put himself in front of Miguel’s hospital bed. He wore a tired glare as he raised his fists slightly. 

Robby ran a hand down his face, his millions of bruises protested this movement. “I’m sorry. I know that doesn’t change what I did. But I-” 

“You need to leave. Now,” Hawk growled, obviously restraining himself. They both knew that it would be inappropriate to start a fight here and now. He took a few steps forward. “Cobra Kai is gonna make you and your Miyagi pussies pay for what you did to Miguel.” 

Hawk’s threat stirred something in Robby; these _bullies_ couldn’t keep getting away with everything. Even after losing the fight at the school, Hawk still had the balls to throw threats around. 

Crap. This is exactly what Robby was hoping to avoid. And it was this kind of thinking that got him in these situations in the first place. 

“He showed you mercy and you took advantage of that,” Hawk seethed, shaking. “He’s in a coma because of you.” Angry tears welled up quickly, which made him grind his jaw and square his shoulders as if it would counteract his emotions. 

At this unwilling display of emotions, Robby felt the fight in him go down the drain; neither of them needed this right now. It was just a question of who would break down first. But unfortunately, the other boy wasn’t ready to let this go. 

“You’re gonna pay for what you did to him,” Hawk snarled, stalking forward. 

However, before the Cobra could swing, a small noise from behind stopped him. Both teens froze. The mohawked boy spun around so fast, Robby was afraid he would fall over. 

“Miguel?” Hawk asked in a small voice. Robby had never heard the other boy sound so vulnerable; it pained him to realize this is what it took for the guy to show this side of himself--even if accidentally. 

Hawk reached a trembling hand forward to grip his best friend’s clammy one. “Miguel?” He asked again. 

Robby held his breath. The two teens stood completely still; their eyes never left the hospital bed.

However, after a few excruciating minutes of waiting, both boys lost any hope they’d previously gained. The only difference was that Hawk’s shoulders slumped and his jaw was slack. The fight in him had fled. 

“Please leave.” Hawk winced as his voice cracked, but didn’t have it in him to make up for his vulnerability with aggression. 

Robby nodded and silently fled.

**Author's Note:**

> I already can't wait for season 4!


End file.
